I have hacked this webssite account. To FREE from tge hackers grip. Send the website owner (Cartwheel76) $50 dollars.
(more…)Category: Opinion
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After the Killing of a CEO, Public Support for the ‘Golfathon’ Rose. Why?
When the CEO of an anti-Golfathon political group was killed outside a Calgary hotel, waves of online support flooded social media. Mainstream outlets now struggle to handle the embracing of radical political violence by modern youth.
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Canadian Thanksgiving: What Will CanCon Leave the U.S.?
First the reality shows, then Law & Order: Toronto. When will it end?
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Does 007 Hold Up 128 Days Later? Yes. Yes It Does.
Aspecticor submits his review of 007 First Light’s support 4 months later.
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Awwww! 6 Ways Aspecticor Gives Puppy Dog Energy!
Our streamer is sadly, a hooman! But in many-a-ways, he gives Golden Retriever- no- Chihuahua energy! Here’s 6 reasons why.
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Mantras of a Monster: The “Aspecticorisms” of Aspecticor
To know your enemy you first have to study their tells. In the case of Aspecticor, he has many. Here is quick cheat sheet of Aspecticor’s most common phrases and “stims,” whatever that means.
“Credit card vertical”
Stolen from a friend in school, this phrase likely relates to Aspecticor and his people’s lack of upwards athleticism. Remember how this phrase was stolen from someone else. You will see more stolen examples soon.
“You disingenuous so-and-so!”
Stolen from Northernlion. That was quick!
“Jerry!”
Aspecticor regularly demonstrates his support of the ‘Seinfeld’ creator.
“Is he stupid?”
Aspecticor almost always is referring to himself. Please be nicer to yourself, Aspect. It is sadder when it’s you instead of us bullying you.
“For sharks”
Replacing “sure” with “sharks” might be a hint at Aspecticor’s fursona. Yes Aspecticor there are shark furries. Sometimes they are literally furred sharks, too. The Overton window slides so much farther than you can imagine.
“Beg for your life”
Said to innocent chatters who anger him, asking them to argue for why they shouldn’t be banned. One time he said this to a chatter asking for help coming out. Sorry I don’t know why I said that no he didn’t. So sorry. Please ignore that.
“Bad Sally”
He calls things “bad Sally” sometimes. Who the fuck is Sally?
“Oh my lanta”
Aspecticor is a devout Christian and would never take the Lord’s name in vain.
“Wait a fucking tick”
Aspecticor is a devout clockmaker and his standard unit of time is in relation to clocks and other timekeeping devices.
“I can fix her”
Said right before his run is killed.
“Jasper County motherfuckers! I’m coming for you!”
He says this popular video’s phrase after quite literally any conflict or resistance.
“What’s his nuts”
Speak normally you maniac.
“Owned in the marketplace of ideas”
Googled this phrase and I think he might have stolen this from Hasan Piker, the socialist-adored livestreamer who once said “America deserved 9/11.” Nah I’m just fuckin’ with you imagine if I was one of those guys though lmao.
“Sacrebleu, Monsieur!”
I condemn the use of the French language in Aspecticor’s livestreams.
“… look like the guy who ate Aspecticor”
This odd phrase is used to describe, usually himself, getting buffer or otherwise more built, in sick twisted hypotheticals relating to exercise. Freak.
“Oh wait, you CAN’T!”
He manages to bring this quote up at literally any time. He even changes the words to make it fit in more. He has an issue.
“Buddy guy”
He often calls people notably not buddies “buddy guys.” It’s sick. Be fucking honest for once.
“Mother Father Sister Brother”
Aspecticor is a staunch advocate for the nuclear family structure.
“Speak to that”
He says this when he reads my messages sometimes and that hurts my feelings. Us chatters who type bullshit should have some god-damned respect!
“Did you see it?”
He read it in the voice didn’t he.
“Noooo, seriously? Nooooo, seriously? KQLY VAC ban-ned?”
Keep this Counter-Strike bullshit the fuck away from us, Aspecticor. This is your final warning.
“You guys wanna hear my Chinese accent?”
He says this regularly.
“Editor…”
He has not had an editor in like a year and a half. He asked an editor to delete something from a stream like a month ago. He’s gone mad.
“I’ll be going live tomorrow”
Haha good one.
“Someone commented on my video…”
Infinite YouTube Shorts engagement glitch (not patched).
Now that you’ve learned the cues, hit the 8-ball. Operation Call & Response is a go. I repeat, Operation Call & Response is a go.
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My Name is Andrew Pill Now, I’m Going to be a Pharmacist
Guest contributor Aspecticor submits an editorial piece to our inbox at 3:30 AM.
That’s right girls. I am Andrew Pill. And I will be splitting an managing distribution of all sorts of pills and medications. Adderral, Tums, the ones that make you not carsick. i love those ones . Miracle Berry. Remmber the miracle berry challenge? No more streaming!!!!!
Okay post that they’re gonna FLIP the FREAK out and think it’s real and thatt m quiting streaming.
oh also did you see that artcile i sent you. the one about the video of that boy dressed as darth vader and he turned that car on? that was hialrious!!!!
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Remembering Lindsey
It has been four nights since we lost Lindsey, taken far too young by sudden illness.
I remember the nights when South Carolina senator would be seated next to Aspecticor on stream playing the Nintendo Switch classic ‘Snipperclips.’ Graham would read chat while Aspecticor would shout “fuck’s sake, Graham! Pay attention to the game! Hello??? Earth to Lindsey? I’m so sorry, I promised you I wouldn’t snap at you again. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow, I got us a reservation at your favourite restaurant, Calgary’s The Potion Room, the Potter-themed one!”
May God rest his soul.
Fly, our little ladybug.
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An Apology from The Aspecticor Times Editor in Chief
We have a lot to apologize for, which includes but not limited to:
- The previous mini crossword being so hard for no reason.
- Not posting a midi crossword in a full month.
- That Graham Platner article from a month ago.
- Allowing Mounty Mole to contribute to the publication.
- Engaging in internalized biphobia.
- Replying “so he’s using hacks? isn’t that cheating?” under Aspecticor’s most recent YouTube Short to stoke rage and discourse.
- Constantly referencing Nirvanna The Band The Show’s Matt Johnson and Jay “From Hinge” McCarrol in these articles.
- Being gayer than I am straight.
- Not using Bluesky.
- Not verifying my age to use Bluesky.
- Making the TAT logo rainbow.
- Unmaking the TAT logo rainbow.
- Putting “FSLUR” in the April Fools mini crossword.
- Being too lazy to save the now-lost VODs from 2025.
- Saving VODs that will get weaponized by soon-to-be-enemy livestreamers.
- Mentioning likely soon-to-be-enemy candidates in the last article, potentially provoking them.
- Finishing all the mini crosswords 10 minutes to when I post them.
- Choosing not to publish the mini crossword Aspecticor made, that contained terribly offensive and outdated language, but was still a suppression of speech by hiding it away from the world.
This is nowhere near all of it, this is just what I was cornered about at that Aspecticor Fan Meetup in D.C. last week. Saw Mitch McConnell there, nice guy.
