October 24, 2026

Today’s Paper



Canadian Thanksgiving: What Will CanCon Leave the U.S.?

First the reality shows, then Law & Order: Toronto. When will it end?

Can us Americans have anything? Fucking anything? Haven’t we done enough for your country? We gave you WIPEOUT. We gave you FAMILY FEUD. We gave you JEFF ROSS PRESENTS ROAST BATTLE, for God’s sake! And you take our 2nd-4th favourite holiday? You even made me spell “favorite” your way!

Th- this is hostile! This is colonialism!

What have Canadian Content laws brought us American? (The most important group.) I’ll admit they brought some cartoons on Qubo, but that channel was for the poor kids without cable, so that doesn’t count.

All that CanCon has done for us Americans is THIEVERY. What the fuck is Canadian Thanksgiving even about? Probably can’t be good knowing the history we share with those here before us.

Wow. We are brethren that way. I’m sorry Canada. I now see how similar we are. You know what, you can have Ted Cruz back, we’ll even take J. J. McCullough.