Author: Cartwheel

Hey, everyone, this has very little to do with Aspecticor but I saw this on my feed and it really bothered me so I thought I’d do the least I could and inform you site-goers about this.

On Monday, the 23rd at 3:30 AM, CCTV footage from Alberta Children’s Hospital showed a white male between 5′ 4″ and 5′ 8″ in a blue and beige splotchy sweatshirt with text on the front shatter a window, and climb in. Shortly after a similar figure would be seen exiting the premises in an ambulance parked there hours earlier.

The only witness, the 12-year old brother of a patient, says he witnessed a “red-haired man sing a song about putting lights on a tree” and another about “working on night moves.” He noted the sweatshirt said “HIMBO” on it, in big letters. “This seems antithetical,” said the boy, shortly before bursting into tears, “Himbos don’t do that!”

Alberta Police claim the sweatshirt in question was not purchased by many people from the storefront it originated from, hopefully making the search easier.

The ambulance is to date still missing.

UPDATE: Nevermind lol

Crossword outsourcing has officially gone too far.

Before The Aspecticor Times Mini Crossword crosses the #100 mark and moves into a new era, livestreamer Aspecticor has attached himself to write the 100th mini crossword published by The Aspecticor Times.

Aspecticor’s representative agency, known for representing figures such as Kyle Rittenhouse and Jimmy Carr, announced the deal this week following his successful Hitman Freelancer Silent Assassin run. They capped their press release off with a cross-promotion, unrelated to Aspecticor:

Amazon Prime Video’s ‘LOL: Last One Laughing’ has returned for Series Two. Hosted by Jimmy Carr and Roisin Conaty, the show follows ten comedians in a last-man-standing Try Not To Laugh challenge for the ages. The first contestant to laugh is killed. Let’s hope it’s not David Mitchell!

When reached for comment, Jimmy Carr denied involvement with Aspecticor and his agency, but confirmed he was working with Rittenhouse.