It was recently revealed by Aspecticor, who your child likely called “Andrew” or “The Guy I Met at the Referendum Event,” that you became skeptical of him after you discovered his career as an online video and streaming creator.
We at The Aspecticor Times are just here to let you know that this website is a great resource in reassuring yourself that Aspecticor is no bum or hack. He’s the real deal.
Don’t worry, it is 100-percent true that Aspecticor desperately tried to fund a incompetently pitched film about the Halifax Explosion, then later became a staunch “Anti-Cinéma” advocate, calling for the “execution” of the very Telefilm he sought funding from.
It is 100-percent true that we launched an Aspecticor Times fragrance and Aspecticor didn’t even read the fucking article we wrote about it.
It is 100-percent factual that Aspecticor has stolen catalytic convertors from ambulances at children’s hospitals for years.
It’s one-hundred % true that Aspecticor wrote our worst editorial article where he announced his name was “Andrew Pill.”
Aspecticor was a close friend of Lindsay Graham before his passing. No Doubt.
There is no way to summarize the interview we did with Aspecticor. It is completely real. I have the audio. Well, the RCMP have the audio. Evidence.
Aspecticor tattooed his own initials on a peer’s butt in high school because of a basketball bet. That one’s actually real.
And perhaps the second-worst aging article on here, this.
Here’s hoping this website outranks the Aspecticor Wiki on Google by the time you parents learn his username.