Category: News

Livestream “star” Andrew “Aspecticor” Will is tapped to play the ‘Austin Powers’ and ‘Shrek’ star in a yet untitled biopic directed by Will Arnett in his feature film directorial debut. Or do I mean Will Forte? I keep confusing those two…

The film will focus on Myers’ time as a young up-and-coming comic in Canada.

This may be an explanation as to why Will was arrested in February for crimes related to harassment of a German couple in Calgary, where he reported shouted “like Sprockets! The Mike Myers SNL sketch! Oooohhhhhh Will’s gonna love this! Did you know I’m on a first name basis with Will Arnett, or Forte, one of those two!?”

With a script by… uh… Max Landis… woah that took a dive really quickly. I’m sorry that took me really by surprise. This is our Trans Day of Visibility article? Christ.

Well, the logline reads:

Following the rough failure of Queen’s University’s Rocket League B-Team early in the season, forensic pathologist Bennet Omalu (Smith) takes it upon himself to declare the entire team brain-dead, despite them clearly being alive.

Well that certainly looks the part of a Landis work. Sorry, everyone.

Hey, everyone, this has very little to do with Aspecticor but I saw this on my feed and it really bothered me so I thought I’d do the least I could and inform you site-goers about this.

On Monday, the 23rd at 3:30 AM, CCTV footage from Alberta Children’s Hospital showed a white male between 5′ 4″ and 5′ 8″ in a blue and beige splotchy sweatshirt with text on the front shatter a window, and climb in. Shortly after a similar figure would be seen exiting the premises in an ambulance parked there hours earlier.

The only witness, the 12-year old brother of a patient, says he witnessed a “red-haired man sing a song about putting lights on a tree” and another about “working on night moves.” He noted the sweatshirt said “HIMBO” on it, in big letters. “This seems antithetical,” said the boy, shortly before bursting into tears, “Himbos don’t do that!”

Alberta Police claim the sweatshirt in question was not purchased by many people from the storefront it originated from, hopefully making the search easier.

The ambulance is to date still missing.

UPDATE: Nevermind lol

Crossword outsourcing has officially gone too far.

Before The Aspecticor Times Mini Crossword crosses the #100 mark and moves into a new era, livestreamer Aspecticor has attached himself to write the 100th mini crossword published by The Aspecticor Times.

Aspecticor’s representative agency, known for representing figures such as Kyle Rittenhouse and Jimmy Carr, announced the deal this week following his successful Hitman Freelancer Silent Assassin run. They capped their press release off with a cross-promotion, unrelated to Aspecticor:

Amazon Prime Video’s ‘LOL: Last One Laughing’ has returned for Series Two. Hosted by Jimmy Carr and Roisin Conaty, the show follows ten comedians in a last-man-standing Try Not To Laugh challenge for the ages. The first contestant to laugh is killed. Let’s hope it’s not David Mitchell!

When reached for comment, Jimmy Carr denied involvement with Aspecticor and his agency, but confirmed he was working with Rittenhouse.