Author: Cartwheel

Nominations ended in November, and the award ceremony happened in December, but that does not mean the show is over.

If we “remove” enough of the competition, perhaps the award will be given retroactively to other people enough times the Golden Peepo will land in Aspecticor’s hands. We just have to hope the line of succession isn’t too long.

Looking back at the winners and nominees for Speedrun Streamer of the Year does make me feel a little bad, unfortunately the winner of Hidden Gem is a nice older woman who does puzzles. Kind of fucked up, Aspecticor, to endorse this article under this context?

Following the news, that we’re all well aware of, that Aspecticor will be shot with a high-dosage tranquilizer, I would like to point out all the rhetorical fallacies that the current Liberal Party government has made to justify their decision.

Appeal to Tradition

I know the Canadian government has shot that bitter night-night juice at a variety of citizens every year since 1982, but it is still wrong.

False Dilemma

No, Mr. Carney, we would not have to kill Aspecticor if we end the Tranq program, we shouldn’t be doing anything to Aspecticor.

Cum Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc

Can you say that?

Appeal to Carney

Honest I have a hard time with this too. The mandate of heaven is in your hands Mark.

Guilt by Association

Just because Aspecticor’s all buddy buddy with some folks at the Daily Wire does not mean he should be tranq’d.

Ad Hominem

Please stop calling me a “hacky crossword constructor” Carney. I’m crying now. Are you happy?

Cum Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc

Stop saying that. I don’t want to say it. Am I allowed to say this term?

Confirmation Bias

Just because a few other Tranq’d individuals were found by a bystander quick enough to not face long-term health problems, doesn’t mean Aspecticor won’t. Given his schedule he’s likely to be at home when it happens, Mr. Carney.