On a September 16th stream, Aspecticor responded to a chatter saying “shouldn’t you be on the greens hitting birds?” with the earth-shattering revelation:
“No, my golf hyperfixation is gone.”
This sent shockwaves through the Calgary golf scene. Clubs across the metropolitan area closed early to organize.
“I only care about getting world records and furthering my career” the livestreamer said, only making things worse.
Chris, 35, a regular at Glizzy’s Indoor Golf, announced on social media he’d begin a hunger strike until Aspecticor “hits one of them balls like Le Chiffre.”
Chris, 33, chairman of the Patriot Golfing Association, currently facing litigation from PGA Tour for trademark infringement, said in a statement:
“We patriots are obviously against the Islamic invasion of Canada, but I watched that one episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry had a “fatwa” placed on him, whatever that word means. I thought that’s actually not a bad idea. We are going to do that for Aspecticor. I never actually watched that whole episode, only the 45 seconds from a Facebook Reel.”
Chris, the 33 year old not the 35 year old, admitted that he was too busy to actually do anything to harm Aspecticor, as he’s been travelling to nearby provinces to gather polling volunteers for the Alberta referendum.