U.S. distributors of the livestreamer’s clothing line have announced a voluntary recall of their whole inventory sold over the past few years.
The disease, nicknamed “Aspecticordyceps,” turn victims into walking talking mushroom zombies.
Products that are being recalled include:
- “Back to Paris World Tour” hoodie that you have to explain isn’t an actual band hoodie.
- “Back to Paris World Tour” shirt, similar problem.
- “Back to Paris” dad cap, which does not fit my big ass head.
- “Back to Paris” beanie, used by many to cosplay as Canadian Daredevil.
The only product not recalled is the “HIMBO” sweater, as all six purchased shirts were used to start Canadian wildfires in 2025.
85 have been pronounced dead from the disease, except Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr., who has had the disease since 2005 and is presumed patient zero.