October 25, 2026

Today’s Paper



Surprise Eleventh Alberta Referendum Question Asks if Aspecticor Should be Exiled

Albertan voters were confused this Monday after an unannounced eleventh question appeared on their ballots pertaining to a Calgary Twitch livestreamer and YouTuber’s citizenship.

The Albertan government did not announce the question like they did #10 in May, which pertained to Alberta seeking independence from Canada.

The eleventh question read:

Should Alberta detain and expel content creator ‘Aspecticor’ from the Alberta province, or just imprison him inside a maximum security detention center?

Voting data may signal a victory for pro-unity Canadians, but it’s not looking so hot for Aspecticor. As of publishing, 84.9% of voters marked both “Expel” and “Imprison,” despite the question only allowing one option to be chosen. Exit polls also showed 30% of voters tried to scrawl “Kill” into their ballots.